Characters: Hunson & Marceline
Series: Adventure Time
Characters: Hunson & Marceline
Series: Adventure Time
I posted this story once before but I asked a friend what she thought of it and she said she refused to read anything that wasn’t formatted correctly. I don’t know how to do that in Tumblr but now I intend to find out… I ended up changing it a little after all in the rewrite
Mr. Palmer held the pamphlet the doctor had handed him and stared at it numbly. He had heard of the disorder which his newborn son had just been diagnosed with. He was afraid to learn more. He had the feeling that opening this folded piece of paper would be opening a world of frightening information. The smart and sane part of him knew that he was already in a frightening new world now whether or not he took in new information. The rest of him was holding the paper at arms length wishing he could just deny it’s contents out of existence. After about thirty seconds he took a deep breath. The front read “What you need to know about ‘Maladaptive Telomere Disorder’ (MTD)” the rest of the front fold had a stock photo of a sad woman looking out of a window as are on the cover of most informative medical pamphlets. Mister Palmer opened the trifold of glossy paper. The text inside was arranged in columns.
What is MTD: Maladaptive Telomere Disorder is a genetic disorder present in approximately one in 200,000 children at birth. As you certainly already know many genetic traits were not created by the natural process of evolution but were the product of human controlled gene alteration designed during the 22nd and 23rd centuries. Since genetic material cannot be overwritten without risking a number of genetic disorders all artificial genetic alteration must be attached the tail end of the subject’s DNA. The tail of a DNA helix is known as a “telomere”. In persons suffering from MTD all genetic information following naturally occuring chromosomes is ignored meaning that a person with MTD does not benefit from any of the genetic enhancement administered to them or their forebears over the last two centuries.
How your child will be effected: What follows is a description of some of the consequences of a genome lacking modern enhancement. This list is by no means exhaustive and covers only what new parents need to know immediately. Children with MTD do not metabolize aluminum, tungsten or titanium. As such their bones contain no metal components. They are instead formed from hardened calcium and are very fragile. Keep your child away from elevated walkways and other high open spaces. A fall from as little as 10 feet could fracture their bones. Practice caution near motorways as being struck by a moving automobile can be fatal to a child with MTD.
Children with MTD can not have any artificial components added to their bodies due to a lack of compatibility with neurological interfaces. This includes Logical coprocessors, sixth sense periphreals, prosthetic limbs, telepathy enabled antennae and many other essentials of modern life. Any knowledge your child will have must be learned manually and cannot be downloaded or installed. This causes a significant delay in the learning process as all information must be deduced or relayed and all information presented to a child will not enter their memory immediately and permanently. Before the advent of genetic enhancement academic standards were far lower out of necessity. Branches of math which are currently taught to children aged 8 to 10 were typically only taught to specially educated engineers, mathematicians and researchers at the post secondary level. Every school district is required by the 2214 revision of the ADA to provide reasonable accommodation to children without cybernetic components. Contact your school district for more information.
Remember: This is only the beginning of what you will need to know to raise a child with MTD. Please seek out additional information for neural download. At times raising a child who cannot immediately understand and communicate effectively can be frustrating. Please keep your patience and try to place yourself in your child’s shoes. Imagine if you will living in a world where almost every object is hard enough to bruise or cut you and every piece of knowledge and wisdom you will ever have must be gained through the process of observation and deduction.
As Earle Bergey is to Barbarella, Allan Anderson is to Xena Warrior-Princess.
While Bergey’s cover girls were all cutesy miniskirts & ray guns, Anderson’s were chain-mail & badass battle-axes. And none more so than his Black Amazon of Mars.
Planet Stories, March 1951.
And Leigh Brackett, Leigh. Eff-ing. Brackett. Known as the “Queen of Space Opera”, one of the best and most prolific of all the women pulp writers, she wrote dozens of short stories & novelettes for Planet Stories, Startling Stories and Thrilling Wonder Stories throughout the forties & fifties before starting a jaw dropping screenwriting career.
Her first hollywood gig? Co-writing the adaptation of The Big Sleep…with William Faulkner. She then wrote a series of westerns for John Wayne before returning to the works of Raymond Chandler with Robert Altman’s The Long Goodbye.
Her Final hollywood work? A little flick called Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back.
The Queen of Space Opera? All hail the Queen.
Oh my god that pin up girl.
i feel better now
Just found an artist with a style I really like. Follow the link under the picture
A sense of humor can make everything better. Sex isn’t like it is in the movies or in porn. There will be strange and weird and awkward sounds, there might be a silly interruption like the cat or a kid… you might knock heads or trip getting undressed. Sex is funny, foreplay is funny and sometimes you need to just laugh. It will keep things from getting awkward! If you take sex too seriously you aren’t truly enjoying it!
Not to mention a sense of humor can be really sexy no matter what your gender identity is!
this comic is literally my favorite thing on tumblr.
i’ve always said if you can’t laugh with the person you’re having sex with while you’re having sex with them you shouldn’t be having sex with them.
My husband once walked up behind me while i was sitting in the living room just watching t.v…and he put his penis on my shoulder and said “hello..”
THIS WAS HIS SEDUCTION.
THIS WAS HIS IDEA OF HOW TO GET ME INTO BED.
it worked, but not before I laughed for days.
For that last comment.
I always had a ton of weird funky condoms at my place because I volunteered with Planned Parenthood and did a lot of sex education and sex positive work. I literally had no less than like thirty different types of condoms at a time. So when it came time to grabbing a condom it was a grab bag of WHO KNOWS what you’ll end up with.
Long story short, my boyfriend grabs one, puts it on, heat of the moment type thing, a some point we both look down and see it’s an ELECTRIC GREEN condom. Dead pan he looks me straight in the eye and in his best impression goes “HEY HO. KERMIT DEE FROG HERE.” And I COMPLETELY LOST IT.
On a completely different occasion I said “don’t stop” and he sang ALL of Don’t Stop Believing. All of it. All of it. Right then and there. Without stopping.
Can I add the story about how me and one of my partners had a very enthralling discussion about deserts while I was on top of him?
Or the time my partner’s friends blasted “Eye of the Tiger” through the door and we rocked it out to the beat while quoting the movie?
I was with this girl during a trip out to Washington, we’d hung out a few times, and hit it off really well. So we got together one afternoon. Her dorm-mate came home, saw the “Do Not Disturb” sock on her bedroom door and called out “Thrusters to full!”
Not missing a beat the girl and I yelled back “We’re giving it all we’ve got, Captain!” and her roommate started fucking dying outside the door.
Probably should have proposed right on the spot, but whatever.
It got better.
I love this post forever.
Bemwahaha I have loads of these kind of stories
Machine Gun Kellys
written by Kevin Panetta
Drawn by Brooke A. Allen
This is my actual favorite thing.
"You like anything with girls beating up dudes" they tell me and I say "yes"
Animal sweater sunday and sketch dailies sailormoon themed doodles
sweaters good yes
Here’s a thing: I’m selling the original art of my “Best Taco” comic. Remember this guy? Oh man! What a throwback! Was I ever so young?
I had no idea what to price it at, so it’s up on eBay. I’ll ship worldwide - it’s just $10 to wherever. I promise the package will include goodies.
Have a piece of my weird comics history!
I am also in the process of listing several new pieces in my Etsy this week, so keep checking in. Thanks! <3
Rebloggin’ once-ish a day until it sells! Whee!
Kate once again kicks all the ass